Worst Christmas Songs Ever

by Meredith Winnett

This is going to be my last post until after the holidays. I have so much to do in the coming week, then I need to do Christmas shopping in the five days I have home before the holiday.

The end of the semester is finally here, though! This has been the toughest semester of my college career and I don’t know how I survived. But I did, and I have gained some great followers along the way.

This past week has been insane for me – between term papers and abstracts and finals and presentations. I am still on campus until the 19th studying my butt off for my one final. Given the fact that I haven’t even been sleeping, I don’t think I’ll have the chance to blog next week 😦

I started this blog back in September and had no idea it would result in this. I was able to discuss lots of different topics that were directly relevant to my life, and many others found my words useful.

I want to thank each and every one of you for following me and supporting me. All of my readers, whether they contribute or not, are important to me. Thank you thank you thank you!

I plan to be back after the holidays, but until then I would like to lead you to Ali Does It Herself. I have been following this all semester and absolutely love it. It’s full of DIY ideas which include recipes, gift ideas, and decorating tips. Also, check out TK. TK is another blog I have followed since the start and I have reblogged her a few times. TK writes posts about post-grad life and lifestyle posts. Right now, she is writing about victims of bullying and it is really powerful. I definitely suggest following these two if you are hungry for more content like mine.

So, I leave you with the worst Christmas songs of all time.

10. Please Daddy Don’t Get Drunk On Christmas – John Denver
Ok, why is this a thing? You’re not getting me into the holiday spirit. You’re telling me that your dad is a terrible person and that’s not very nice of you. I understand this is an issue in some families, but lots of kids fathers come home drunk on a daily basis. If John Denver was really concerned about his father coming home drunk, he’d write a song about alcoholic fathers on every other day of the year.

9. Anything by the Chipmunks
MY EARS! THEY’RE BLEEDING! Please, make it stop!

8. Last Christmas by Wham
Thanks for bringing your relationship drama into the holidays, you pessimistic jerk. Have you ever thought that maybe you told this girl you loved her too soon? I bet you started dating 2 weeks before Christmas. Wham should be introduced to Taylor Swift.

7. Santa Baby by EVERY POPULAR FEMALE ARTIST EVER.
Dear Santa, for Christmas I want absolutely everything in the world because I’m a selfish asshole. I don’t want to wish for anything charitable because I am CLEARLY too selfish for that. Instead, buy me a house, a yacht, a car, jewelry, and leave me a blank check so I can buy everything I forgot. P.S. Here’s the Taylor Swift version because OF COURSE SHE MADE A VERSION.

6. Little Drummer Boy by William Hung
It’s William Hung. Bye.

5. Christmas Tree by Lady Gaga
I love Lady Gaga. I love everything she does. I love this song. I don’t think it belongs on the radio during Christmas time. I’d rather throw it on a workout playlist so I can listen to it in July.

4. All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey
Ugh. Mariah Carey’s voice. Ouch. This is just not a very good song. It makes me sad how songs are bringing their romantic issues into Christmas. Cool. You have a crush. Go away.

3. All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth by some first grade kid
Kid, you’re cute, but your only audience is 7-8 year-olds. People have bigger problems this time of year, like how am I going to stay warm and where’s my next meal coming from. Ok, I won’t get too weird. But honestly, why do people love this song?

2. Christmas Shoes by Alabama or Newsong or whoever
Merry Christmas! Spoiler Alert: This kid’s mother died.
This poor kid wanted to buy his mom some pretty new shoes so she would look good when she died, then he doesn’t even make it to the hospital to make her happy in her final moments. This song wouldn’t be so awful if he were able to give his mom the shoes and she died happy. Instead, she died not knowing where her young son is. He could have been kidnapped. THE KID IS LIKE EIGHT. WHY DID THEY LET HIM OUT ON HIS OWN ON CHRISTMAS EVE WHILE HIS MOTHER WAS DYING?!

1. Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney
So what does this song have to offer about the holiday?
Here’s a verse
It’s not that long
Here’s the chorus
Siiiiimply haaaaving a wonderful Christmas time
Siiiiimply haaaaving a wonderful Christmas time
Yeah. Great song.

What is your least favorite Christmas song? Anything else that fits on this list? Anything that doesn’t belong on this list? Let me know!

Advertisements