iPhone, Go Home

by Meredith Winnett

Lately I haven’t been a fan of my iPhone, or any smart phone for that matter. I always have it with me, but 95% of the time I don’t need it. It’s become a glorified watch / video game console. A distraction that enables me to be anti-social. When a group of friends hang out together, you can’t get through one simple conversation without someone on their phone. I’m guilty of this – I’ll be talking to my friends while also texting and having a separate conversation. How do we even stay on track? We don’t. We become unattached to both conversations, making us huge assholes for not caring about our friends.

Oh no! How will I send ugly snapchats to my friends now?!

You can’t even go for a walk outside without being burdened by someone on their phone. I was walking to class this morning and people on cell phones would not get out of my way. You walk slow. You walk in zig-zags. You’re in everyone’s way and it’s really pissing us off. Just. Move.

Imagine for a moment a world without cell phones. Don’t be that person who says: “But I need my phone!” or even worse, “I’d be lost without my iPhone”. Really? If I were to take your iPhone for a week, would you get lost on your way to class? Would you end up snuggling with a polar bear for warmth because you took a wrong turn on your way to work? Please. I lived in DC for four months without a map and I could navigate without my iPhone pretty much all the time. And I was always super early. And I took detours for Dunkin Donuts to avoid Starbucks. Never got lost once.

If we didn’t have cell phones, who knows. We might be forced to actually pay attention to one thing at a time. You could go to class and your professor doesn’t have to remind you how rude it is to be on your phone during a lecture. (I’m always pretty annoyed at this. I always put my phone away but there are those assholes who just don’t care, so the rest of us get in trouble. You can be without your phone for an hour. It’ll be ok.) We could have real in-depth conversations. We could even share our biggest and most relevant ideas. Maybe we’d have cures to AIDs, cancer, and be able to speak to animals. You’d never be included in these conversations though, because you’re too busy trying to beat that level Candy Crush for the 87th time.

Try this: turn your phone off. Leave it in the drawer. Go outside. Experience real life. Leave your phone alone for 24 hours. You’ll survive,

“What about dinner? How can I get through my boring spaghetti without Instagramming it?” This needs to stop. Save these images to your own memory. Most the time your viral friends don’t care. You may care about these things, which is great, but we need to stop oversharing our lives. We need to stop pretending we’re cooler than we are. Because really, we’re just a bunch of dorks staring at a screen all the time. We’re all just as cool as the next person. You know who the real badasses are? The people who aren’t pretending, but actually doing. The people who are ignoring Candy Crush invites and actually living. Turn off your phone and do something amazing. Have some real fun, not just filler-fun. You can always brag about the story later. In person. To people who care.